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Oh Great Gazoo

Dec 14, 2020

It's the weekend and Wilma is out shopping, leaving Fred to rummage through the refrigerator before Barney comes over to watch the big game on television.  As Fred slices up some pigasaurus for sandwiches he looks out the kitchen window to see Betty, dressed in a skimpy bikini, sunning herself by the pool....


Fred: (thinking to himself) What I wouldn't give tuh get a slice of that.


The telephone rings.  Fred grumbles something incoherent and trudges into the living room to answer the phone.


Fred: Flintstone residence.

Barney: Hey, Fred...look, I'm gonna have to miss the big game.

Fred: Hah!  What, did work call you in? *

Barney: Yeah, some kinda geological emergency...the continent breaking up or some such nonsense.  How 'bout we do this on Monday night?  The Bedrock Brontos are playin' the Rock Bay Pachyderms.

Fred: Alright.  I'll have Wilma grill us up some pterodactyl wings and you bring the beer.

Barney: Sounds like a plan!


Fred hangs up the phone, goes back into the kitchen, and returns to staring out the window...ogling at a now topless Betty.  Minutes later he hears Barney saying goodbye to his wife.  She waves, tells him to be careful at work, then goes back to her sunbathing.  Fred bites his lower lip as he watches her roll onto her stomach, unties her bikini bottom, and pushes it aside as not to get any tan lines.  No sooner has Barney walked out his front door, gotten into his car, and driven off...


Fred: (sing-songing) Ohhh Great Gaa-zooo-ooo!

The Great Gazoo appears out of thin air, floating behind Fred.

Gazoo: Could you possibly call at a mooore inconvenient time, dumb dumb?  I'm in the middle of an episode of Downton Abbey. **


Fred turns, grins, and motions towards the window with a sideways head nod.  Gazoo peers over Fred's shoulder to see...


Gazoo: Oh good grief, Flintstone!  Not this again?  Your own daughter, then your wife AND daughter, and NOW your best friend's wife?  And let's not forget that poor, unsuspecting waitress from the drive-in restaurant...twice.  Have you no shame, sir?

Fred: Yeah, yeah...make with the finger snapping, Doctor Freudrock.  I'll be in the bedroom...naked.  And make sure she's into it!  AND doesn't remember anything!

Gazoo: (shivers in revulsion) As you wish.  At least do me a favor?  Don't make me watch this time.


Fred peels his clothes off as he walks into the bedroom and then climbs onto the bed.  With a snap of Gazoo's fingers a startled, confused, and naked Betty appears on top of Fred.


Betty: Wh-what the...!?  Wh-where...?!  F-FRED!?!  Hhh-how did I...?

Fred: Into it...?  Any ol' time, Gazoo.

Betty: Wait, wh-why are you naked?  (looks around the room) Who the hell are you talking to?!?  Into what?!


Gazoo snaps his fingers and Betty's expression instantly changes from confused disbelief to one of cow-eyed subservience.


Gazoo: (sarcastically) You're a gentleman and a scholar, Flintstone.


* The original series (1960-66) never established what Barney's profession was.  It varied from episode to episode, ranging from repo man, geologist, private detective, and even Fred's boss at Slate Rock and Gravel Company.

** The Great Gazoo is both an inter-dimensional being and a time-traveler, often giving references to people, places, and events in the distant future.


Original Art by Alex Hiro

Colors and Edits by Phillipthe2

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