Wrong Possible - Part 4
Before the winter weather closed in on Middleton, forcing the Tweebs to alter their filming plans, Dr Drakken's own dastardly scheme was already in full swing. As Shego walks through the darkened corridors of Drakken's not-so-secret lair, she can't help but to notice the silence...and the bitter cold. No henchmen scurrying about, no doomsday machines whirring...the only appreciable sound seems to be coming from Doc's inner sanctum.
Shego: Jesus, Doc. Did you forget to pay the heating bill again? It's fucking freezing in here! And where the hell are all of the henchmen? The kitchen is filthy and the bathroom...well, it doesn't wreak of Axe body spray and Stetson cologne like usual.
Doc: Drole as usual, Shego. I furloughed all of them...and we're out of plutonium for the heat exchanger. And for your information, I only wear Drakkar Noir...because, you know...
Shego: Drakken - Drakkar...yeah, yeah. I get it. Wait, you furloughed...?
Shego stops mid-sentence, noticing something moving in the shadows next to Drakken's desk. Irritated, Shego rolls her eyes and sighs upon hearing the muffled sound of a woman's voice.
Shego: Really, Doc? This shit again? We're obviously outta cash...again...and instead of robbing Fort Knox or organizing a coup in some small, third-world country like any normal supervillain, you go and...
Doc: That's right! She THOUGHT she was ALL THAT, but I've finally captured the great Kim Possible!
Shego: Grrrreaat...awesome. You kidnapped a former child actress who's parents...also former actors with no real-world skills...have been living on tiny, little royalty checks since Disney dumped 'em back in... Wait, you do know they all work in adult film industry now, don't you?
Doc: Now, see here, you impetuous...! Wait... Really? Like, nudie pictures with the 'baw chika bow wow' music in the background?
Shego: Jeesh. Yes, Doc...with the '70s music in the background.
Shego, rolling her eyes and shaking her head at Drakken's naivety, reaches to open the bag sitting next to his desk and release whomever is squirming inside it.
Shego: Ye olde burlap sack. Nice. What'd yuh do, blow up their house with one of those round bombs too?
Doc: Oooo! The black ones with the fuse! Classic! Why didn't I think of that?
No sooner has she untied the end of the bag, then a fist comes flying out of it, striking Shego squarely in the jaw. Momentarily stunned and seeing stars, she stumbles backwards, landing on her butt with a thump. When she opens her eyes, it's not Kim standing before, but Ann...shivering and completely nude, except for a rag stuck in her mouth.
Ann: (flinging the rag at Drakken angrily) ANDREW THEODORE LIPSKY, WHAT IN THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM!? Your break into MY HOUSE, gas me while I'm in the FUCKING TUB, drag me out into the freezing cold, and then fly me here in an open cockpit hovercraft...NAKED! I could've DIED from hypothermia you asshole! And, Jesus, you forget to pay your heating bill or something?
Doc: But, but...Ann! I... I...
Ann: (mockingly) I... I... What?! You love me? That was THIRTY YEARS AGO! (turns to Shego) We had one date...one fucking date in college! All he kept rambling on about was robots. I give him one, single kiss on the cheek after he walks me back to my dorm...and then it's flowers and chocolate and stuffed animals and cards and love letters. (turning back to Doc) He's still not allowed to come within a thousand feet of me!
Shego: Alright, enough of this happy homecoming shit...
Shego grabs Ann from behind and puts her into an arm bar while sweeping her legs out from under her, causing Ann to drop to her knees.
Shego: Stuff that rag back in'er mouth, Doc.
Ann: I'm gonna fuuh... (Drakken sticks the rag into her mouth) MMMPH! FUFINK KWILL YOUF!
Shego: (smiling fiendishly) Go get my selfie stick, Theodore. We're ransoming this bitch.
Original Art by Gagala
Edits by Phillipthe2
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